High-tech Mystic Gifts

Plugged In

"I'm going on a retreat."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

"And for my next trick, I will attempt to work on this PC for ten minutes without it crashing!"

"I do miss the crystal ball."

Palm Top Readings

'This spreadsheet program has really been enhanced since I installed the Ouija board.'

'I only do biometric readings now.'

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

Confession plugged up to an amp.

"I'm going on a retreat."

Divine Cell

"I'm gettng a message from the Other Side ... buffering ... still buffering ..."

Zeus recharges lightening bolts.

A Fortune-teller clicking on her mouse attached to her crystal ball.

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my prayers now!"

Binary meditation.

"I made a video of your water baptism..."

"I want to get away to it all."

'Will you be able to shrink their heads with just broad band connection?'

"It's a message for you from the other side."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single status update."

Fortune teller "Ah, yes, the internet is just coming through"

Will this one count my blessings and display them one by one?