Telecommunication Mystic Gifts

Please listen carefully as our menu has changed...

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"This one comes with a special undo function for erasing any stupid thing you've done or said in your entire life. It doesn't really work, of course, but it's SUPER fun to play with!"

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

Seances of the future

"The secret of time management? Never take anyone off hold."

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

"And for my next trick, I will attempt to work on this PC for ten minutes without it crashing!"

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

Seance: That line is currently busy...would you care to keep holding?

'...George isn't in right now, but you can email him at...'

Plugged In

'This spreadsheet program has really been enhanced since I installed the Ouija board.'

'I only do biometric readings now.'

'All our operators are busy with customers who don't have an eternity to wait.'

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

'This is goodbye, Goopta -- I've decided to make a career move to the Scientologists.'

"He apologizes for not contacting us during the previous session. The wi-fi was off in the hereafter."

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

"It's your dear departed wife. She's located your tonsils and appendix."

"I'm gettng a message from the Other Side ... buffering ... still buffering ..."

A Fortune-teller clicking on her mouse attached to her crystal ball.

'You'll never convince me that phone masts aren't a health risk.'

'What do you mean it's wrong? In Ethics we learnt that the truth is always objective!'

"Yes, we know the system is down. Our technical people are working on it right now."

'.. and what about dogs born on February 29th?'

'He's a wizard. He came with the software.'

"High tech genies?"

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single status update."

"It's a message for you from the other side."