Techie Mystic Gifts

Crystal Balls.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"This one comes with a special undo function for erasing any stupid thing you've done or said in your entire life. It doesn't really work, of course, but it's SUPER fun to play with!"

One-man band - One-man office

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

First O.M.G. church.

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

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Holy phone

Computer literate Monk

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

"And for my next trick, I will attempt to work on this PC for ten minutes without it crashing!"

Plugged In

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

'This spreadsheet program has really been enhanced since I installed the Ouija board.'

Palm Top Readings

'I only do biometric readings now.'

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

'He meditates,on the harmony of nature and the meaning of life for a few weeks, and then - Zap! - A new silicon chip.'

Guru logs on to 'Why-fi'.

A Fortune-teller clicking on her mouse attached to her crystal ball.

"I'm gettng a message from the Other Side ... buffering ... still buffering ..."

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

No Connection.

Welcome to Heaven: Please log in, using your password...

Monk on PC.

"Yes, we know the system is down. Our technical people are working on it right now."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single status update."

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"