Techie Monk Gifts

'Scroll down a little...'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

"Namasteak"

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Monks sitting at a row of computers typing up old-fashioned looking manuscripts.

Whoa, easy on the details, brother! This may be shrunk down for an e-book someday.

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

Binary Meditation.

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

First O.M.G. church.

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

You Have 1 New Messages

Holy phone

'I'd still be in a luxurious office instead of a smelly cave if I really knew the secret of keeping customers.'

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

Computer literate Monk

Gracebook.

"And for my next trick, I will attempt to work on this PC for ten minutes without it crashing!"

Pray as you Go.

It's a mobile, wireless internet device

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

'I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.'