Digital Monks Gifts

'Just in case I forget it, I keep my mantra on my Ipod.'

Moses on the web

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

God's Phone

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"I have an app for that."

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

Monks sitting at a row of computers typing up old-fashioned looking manuscripts.

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'Does it come on Disc?'

Go on! Pick a card.

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'My nephew Richie can download all your work from the internet for free. You are all fired.'

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'