Internet Monk Gifts

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"I'm going on a retreat."

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Monks sitting at a row of computers typing up old-fashioned looking manuscripts.

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

Cable Bill.

A monk illuminating a book with quill pen

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

Computer literate Monk

'I'd still be in a luxurious office instead of a smelly cave if I really knew the secret of keeping customers.'

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

Sports Day at the Monastery

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

"Do you have anything that will help me get rid of an irritating mantra?"

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

Thou Art Here.

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

'I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.'