Mechanically Minded Monk Gifts

"Looks like the source of your impure thoughts is a blown gasket in your thought purifier."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Monks sitting at a row of computers typing up old-fashioned looking manuscripts.

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

Whoa, easy on the details, brother! This may be shrunk down for an e-book someday.

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

Monster fixing boy's car bed.

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

"You've got a few screws loose."

Cable Bill.

'I'd still be in a luxurious office instead of a smelly cave if I really knew the secret of keeping customers.'

Computer literate Monk

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

Gracebook.

Pray as you Go.

"Do you have anything that will help me get rid of an irritating mantra?"

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

Thou Art Here.

'I am not, metaphysically speaking, as loopy as you seem to believe.'

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

'There is no 'I' in Jesus, but there is an 'Us'.'