Musical Monk Gifts

But what is the sound of one hand clapping for one hand playing air guitar and one hand playing air drums?

Monk with accordion hidden in his robes.

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

'Spell checker!'

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Quills - Sizes 1-9

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

Monk Prompt

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

Well la de da. . .

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"I'm going on a retreat."