Monk Gifts

"You can accomplish anything, if you don't put your mind to it."

R.C.I.A.

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

"Enough yin. More yang."

Well la de da. . .

'Brother Andrew is a big Elvis fan.'

Trappist talk show.

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

'One day, son, all this will be yours.'

Buddhist holds a sign reading 'The End is Insight.'

"I can't quite remember - Do I ding or dong?"

'The secret to finding all knowledge is to use exactly the right keywords when you google.'

'No kidding? -- a black belt in humility?'

"You rang ?"

"OMG"

"I have reached the higher plane of consciousness and enlightenment."

Confusionism: Why am I here?

'Hey! - Are you eating again ALREADY?'

'Yes, I can tell you the meaning of life, but then I would have to kill you.'

Mea Maxima Cuppa

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

'It's very inflammed. Why don't you take a vow of silence for a few days?'

'I've been praying for a revelation, but nothing happens!'

Monk at monastery walks by sign ??" In Case of Fire: Break vow of silence.

"Can't you put it on vibrate?"

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"You notice how these telephone pitches always come just when you're about to achieve satori?"

"It's bad news Brother Thomas, he's decided to change the font"

'How do you think I ended up alone on the top of a mountain?'

Working from OM

'The secret to prosperity is turn your thinking cap around.'

"That's the third time today the copier's broken down!"