Market Monk Gifts

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

The president's men

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

'Spell checker!'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Quills - Sizes 1-9

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Monk Prompt

Well la de da. . .

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"I'm going on a retreat."

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'