Market Monk Pillows

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

The president's men

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'Spell checker!'

Mea Maxima Cuppa

Quills - Sizes 1-9

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

Monk Prompt

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Well la de da. . .

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"I'm going on a retreat."

Buddhist photo albums,

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."