Monks Pillows

Hula Halo

'Psst! I just realised something... I'm hella bored.'

'There is no 'I' in Jesus, but there is an 'Us'.'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

'Could you tone down your humility a bit, Brother Jerome? -- Some of the other monks are getting jealous.'

'I'm new here-where are all the nuns?'

Heavenly Halo

"No thanks. 'The bald spot' is supposed to be there."

Thou Art Here.

Please Seat Yourself

'The way I see it, watching TV keeps me too busy to commit the REALLY deadly sins.'

'Here endeth our first Union Meeting, brothers..'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Sorry, Brother Jerome -- the Archbishop nixed your 'Casual Friday' idea.'

'It's on the Religion Channel.'

'It's SUPPOSED to be quiet up here!'

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

"Do you have anything that will help me get rid of an irritating mantra?"

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

'I'm sorry, but that will not help you find the eightfold path.'

Monastery meter reader protesting at vow of silence .

'You didn't EITHER just friend the Pope!'

"My right nipple is cold."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'