Fashion Monk Pillows

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'Spell checker!'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Quills - Sizes 1-9

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Monk Prompt

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

Well la de da. . .

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"I'm going on a retreat."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

Buddhist photo albums,

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'