Fashion Monk Gifts

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Spell checker!'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

Mea Maxima Cuppa

Quills - Sizes 1-9

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Monk Prompt

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

Well la de da. . .

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"I'm going on a retreat."

Buddhist photo albums,

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."