Humor Monk Gifts

Running shoes? You have the wrong idea about "fasting," Brother Ernest!

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

Monks in monastry dancing, "They're high on apostasy again."

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

Whoa, easy on the details, brother! This may be shrunk down for an e-book someday.

Computer literate Monk

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

Gracebook.

Sports Day at the Monastery

Before you learn to make the perfect ale, my son, you must first learn to make the perfect little bowl of nuts and pretzels.

"Don't even think of going over my head Brother James!"

But what is the sound of one hand clapping for one hand playing air guitar and one hand playing air drums?

Grace.

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"

Monk on PC.

"I want to get away to it all."

Two monks: 'Yes, I know we look like hoodies, Brother John, but I still don't want a hug!'

'I'm going to have to take a day off - to get married!'

Monks haircutting with compasses

New rule: no tumble-drying!

'He's conscientious about most of his religious duties, but he's slow to fast.'

"I've switched from self-flagellation to a high-fiber diet."

'Stop monking around and get inside!'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

'Oh, sorry Dad!'

Monk with accordion hidden in his robes.

"Can you send an engineer, the copiers gone down."

'He's conscientious about most of his religious duties, but he's slow to fast.'

'I guess it's OK - provided he keeps the vow of silence.'

Monasteries dog with bone cross atop his kennel

Cricketing monks.