Monk Humor Lover Gifts

Cricketing monks.

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Spell checker!'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

Mea Maxima Cuppa

Quills - Sizes 1-9

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Monk Prompt

Well la de da. . .

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"I'm going on a retreat."

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

Buddhist photo albums,

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."