Comedy Monks Gifts

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"Oh great, the printer is down."

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

Monks in monastry dancing, "They're high on apostasy again."

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

Running shoes? You have the wrong idea about "fasting," Brother Ernest!

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

Whoa, easy on the details, brother! This may be shrunk down for an e-book someday.

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

"... And the cold foam cascara nitro goes to Lazarus!"

Gracebook.

Sports Day at the Monastery

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"Do you have anything that will help me get rid of an irritating mantra?"

Before you learn to make the perfect ale, my son, you must first learn to make the perfect little bowl of nuts and pretzels.

Thou Art Here.

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

'There is no 'I' in Jesus, but there is an 'Us'.'

'Psst! I just realised something... I'm hella bored.'

'It's on the Religion Channel.'

"No thanks. 'The bald spot' is supposed to be there."

'It's SUPPOSED to be quiet up here!'

But what is the sound of one hand clapping for one hand playing air guitar and one hand playing air drums?

"Don't even think of going over my head Brother James!"

Grace.

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"

'I'm new here-where are all the nuns?'

The Stock Market Giveth. . . The Stock Market Taketh Away.

Two monks: 'Yes, I know we look like hoodies, Brother John, but I still don't want a hug!'