Data Monk Pillows

'I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

Fear/Knowledge

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'Spell checker!'

Big Data Tonight

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

Mea Maxima Cuppa

Quills - Sizes 1-9

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

Monk Prompt

Well la de da. . .

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'