Monkhood Gifts

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Trappist Monk Discord

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Spell checker!'

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Quills - Sizes 1-9

Monk Prompt

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Well la de da. . .

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

Buddhist photo albums,

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

"I'm going on a retreat."