Monastic Gifts

Trappist Monk Discord

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

"I'm going on a retreat."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Trappist talk show.

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

Cable Bill.

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

A friar

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

"Do you have anything that will help me get rid of an irritating mantra?"

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

Thou Art Here.

'Brother John had discovered a loophole in the vow of silence'

Two friars ringing bells

'If a tree falls in a trappist monastery, does it make a sound.'