Intelligent Baby Jokes Pillows

'Peel is sleeping badly.' - 'He seems very bright.' - 'Yes.' - 'Bright babies often sleep badly.' - 'Waaaaah!' - 'I want a thick baby.' - 'Zzzzzzz'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"It's his emotional support animal."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

They Removed my Brain.

Newborn making the V-sign

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

We had to use my wife's pouch as a diaper bag.

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

Clearance sale. Everything must go!

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

"One last question, where's its mute button?"

"Gee, my first man cave!"

Rattle Snake in Love with Baby

Where Box Turtles Come From

"Which one is yours?"

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

"Baby FOMO."

'Wait a minute...what am I doing? I can't count yet.'

'She just got her first credit card application in the mail.'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supearvisor's uniform!'

'People have told me that I bear a striking resemblance to a young Sean Connery.'

Please queue here for contraction service.

"Wouldn't a teething ring be better than a house-brick?"