Intelligent Baby Jokes Pillows

'Peel is sleeping badly.' - 'He seems very bright.' - 'Yes.' - 'Bright babies often sleep badly.' - 'Waaaaah!' - 'I want a thick baby.' - 'Zzzzzzz'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

Newborn making the V-sign

They Removed my Brain.

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

Clearance sale. Everything must go!

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

Rattle Snake in Love with Baby

"One last question, where's its mute button?"

"Gee, my first man cave!"

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

Where Box Turtles Come From

"Baby FOMO."

'Wait a minute...what am I doing? I can't count yet.'

'She just got her first credit card application in the mail.'

Freak Family - please don't be looking at me...

"Wouldn't a teething ring be better than a house-brick?"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supearvisor's uniform!'

Please queue here for contraction service.