Baby Care Humor Pillows

"Wouldn't a teething ring be better than a house-brick?"

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

'Hurry up: We've sprung a leak!'

"I don't leave home without it!"

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

Romulus and Remus

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

"He's our newest partner, we can't afford to be as selective as we used to be."

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

'I'm referring you to a doctor with better attorneys.'

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

Maternity ward on the farm.

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'And out hospital has rooms...lots of rooms, and some beds, and we've got stairs.'

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

'My first solids. Do breasts get jealous?'

Is there anyone here from 'customer care'? Could you tell them I'll ring back as soon as I've got my new kidney in!

'These are from my attorneys for malpractice suit.'