Baby Delivery Humor Pillows

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supearvisor's uniform!'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Hurry up: We've sprung a leak!'

The Elephant in the Womb

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

Maternity ward on the farm.

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

'And remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

'Kid, would you please keep your head down! I can't see where I'm going...'

'I already have four girls. I picked out the names for this one. If I give birth to a girl...Jennifer. If it's a boy...hooray!'

"Hard to tell...He was wearing a mask."

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

"I'm sorry Perkins,but that's one option for childbirth we won't be using."

Some blind dates work out just fine.

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."

Where Box Turtles Come From

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

Rattle Snake in Love with Baby

'She just got her first credit card application in the mail.'

"Vous avez pris rendez-vous?"

'Does my bun look big in this?'

"Wouldn't a teething ring be better than a house-brick?"

"If I'm not in the Hall of Fame by 41 I'm getting induced."

"I should have started this three months ago....contractions play havoc with jigsaw puzzles!!"

"I'm concerned, I haven't had a period in over 8 months."