Baby Arrival Humor Pillows

'Hurry up: We've sprung a leak!'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

The Elephant in the Womb

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'Mom, will the baby come with bundled software?'

They Removed my Brain.

Beware of teething baby.

Husband and Child in Pram

'Sandra, I think the baby needs his oil changed.'

Twins

"Twins!...Who's the other father?"

'I don't believe it - At school all my teachers said I was an underachiever!'

I'm not saying she's a gifted child, but she did write her own birth announcement.

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

"When do I get my phone call"

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

Mobile Phone Mobile.

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

'I already have four girls. I picked out the names for this one. If I give birth to a girl...Jennifer. If it's a boy...hooray!'

"Did he sleep through the night again?"