New Baby Humor Pillows

Maternity Ward: No Children Allowed

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

'Hurry up: We've sprung a leak!'

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"It was a difficult delivery."

Baby reading 'To do list'.

'Here's one I made earlier!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

Husband and Child in Pram

'Mom, will the baby come with bundled software?'

A (P)ram.

Beware of teething baby.

They Removed my Brain.

A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".

'Sandra, I think the baby needs his oil changed.'

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

"Oh, she's got her father's male hormones"

'Mum's water have broken and she's called the doctor. I may be wrong but I'd be calling the plumber!!'

"Twins!...Who's the other father?"

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