Childbirth Humor Fan Pillows

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

Maternity Ward

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

'Which one is yours?'

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

"It was dark, damp and cramped - why did you lock me in there for nine months??!..."

Lamaze. I'm sorry, no, we' don't offer any "Gifted Fetus" programs.

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"'Waaaaah, waaaaah!' is not an answer!"

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

"Baby FOMO."

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

'Congratulations, it's a boy!'

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

The baby's really been moving round today.

Please take a number...

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supearvisor's uniform!'