Baby Delivery Humor Gifts

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supearvisor's uniform!'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

'Hurry up: We've sprung a leak!'

The Elephant in the Womb

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

Maternity ward on the farm.

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

'And remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"Hard to tell...He was wearing a mask."

'Kid, would you please keep your head down! I can't see where I'm going...'

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

'I already have four girls. I picked out the names for this one. If I give birth to a girl...Jennifer. If it's a boy...hooray!'

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

"I'm sorry Perkins,but that's one option for childbirth we won't be using."

Some blind dates work out just fine.

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

Where Box Turtles Come From

Rattle Snake in Love with Baby

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

'She just got her first credit card application in the mail.'

"If I'm not in the Hall of Fame by 41 I'm getting induced."

'Does my bun look big in this?'

"Wouldn't a teething ring be better than a house-brick?"

"Vous avez pris rendez-vous?"

"I should have started this three months ago....contractions play havoc with jigsaw puzzles!!"

'I'm afraid your work insurance won't apply, Mrs. Ferguson -- you didn't have the baby during office hours.'