Baby Humor Gifts

'She just got her first credit card application in the mail.'

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"It's his emotional support animal."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

Newborn making the V-sign

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

Gangster Babies

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

We had to use my wife's pouch as a diaper bag.

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

"I'm training him."

Clearance sale. Everything must go!

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

'Peel is sleeping badly.' - 'He seems very bright.' - 'Yes.' - 'Bright babies often sleep badly.' - 'Waaaaah!' - 'I want a thick baby.' - 'Zzzzzzz'

Baby Going to Toilet on Father.

"'Waaaaah, waaaaah!' is not an answer!"

"It was dark, damp and cramped - why did you lock me in there for nine months??!..."

"One last question, where's its mute button?"

"Which one is yours?"

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

"Gee, my first man cave!"

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

"Baby FOMO."