Comedy Childbirth Enthusiasts Gifts

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

The Elephant in the Womb

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

Uterus: One size fits all.

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

Congratulations! When are you due?

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

"Six down, three to go!!"

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

Womb for Kids

"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

"Yeah, those first few minutes...nothing but a lot of slap and tickle!"

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

Lamaze. I'm sorry, no, we' don't offer any "Gifted Fetus" programs.

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

The future Muhammad Ali about to be conceived.

'Congratulations, it's a boy!'

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

The baby's really been moving round today.

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'