Baby Care Humor Gifts

"Wouldn't a teething ring be better than a house-brick?"

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

'Hurry up: We've sprung a leak!'

"I don't leave home without it!"

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"I didn't say he's dying from choking. I said he's killing us with his joking."

Romulus and Remus

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

I know you do your mating dance just to embarrass the kids.

"I've developed a sporting way to administer the flu shot."

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

"He's our newest partner, we can't afford to be as selective as we used to be."

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

'I'm referring you to a doctor with better attorneys.'

Maternity ward on the farm.

'And out hospital has rooms...lots of rooms, and some beds, and we've got stairs.'

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

'My first solids. Do breasts get jealous?'

12 step program

'These are from my attorneys for malpractice suit.'