Baby Care Comedian Gifts

"They're resilient."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

Saline Drip Sommelier.

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

'sugar and spice my eye.'

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

Robot surgery.

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

Romulus and Remus

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

Beware of teething baby.

'Looks like we could have a pandemic on our hands.'

"She's cute all right. But, whoa, what a narcissist!"

"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

'Dad's my roadie.'

'Looks like we'll have this one by C section."

Out of hours GP service machine.