Baby Care Comedian Gifts

"They're resilient."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

Saline Drip Sommelier.

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

Robot surgery.

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

Romulus and Remus

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

'Looks like we could have a pandemic on our hands.'

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

No offense, Doctor, but I'm feeling kinda rushed.

Beware of teething baby.

It went even worse than I expected - She got custody of the kids and me.

"She's cute all right. But, whoa, what a narcissist!"

"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

We had to use my wife's pouch as a diaper bag.

'Dad's my roadie.'

Out of hours GP service machine.