Baby Care Comedy Gifts

Rattle Snake in Love with Baby

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

The Elephant in the Womb

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

Romulus and Remus

Jelly I.V.

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

'My first solids. Do breasts get jealous?'

IV Bags: Main and Afters

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

'I think you have the wrong idea,sonny!'

'Of course I know what he wants when he cries. He wants you.'

"My dad works in surveillance."

'She just got her first credit card application in the mail.'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supearvisor's uniform!'

"For the last time, stand up straight and wipe your carrot."

"Wouldn't a teething ring be better than a house-brick?"

Baby Teething.

'Does it hurt when I do this?'

'Home from work at last!!'

"No wonder he won't stop crying. That's the wrong end, you idiot."

Baby Virus.

'Oh, I see. So, you thought you'd come and pass your nasty germs on to me?!'

'Okay, Claudia, you're right, next time I'll buy freshly frozen rats!'

Baby's head pops off.

'Would the father like to gnaw through the umbilical cord?'

'I don't like where this is headed.'

'Let the nanny do it!'