Childcare Comedy Fan Gifts

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"I'm bored."

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

'So this is goodbye then!'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Children's Nursery

Therapy for babies.

'Take a letter,'

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

"The kids told me it was a magic wand."

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

'This is great. No dishes to wash!'

'My first solids. Do breasts get jealous?'

"Mum.... I need to poo."

'I am transferring to another day-care center. I am not getting enough playing time.'

"If you like the baby pictures you should see the 'Making Of' video!"

"Those D's are misleading."

'As a baby sitter, you shouldn't think of me as a bratty kid...think of me as a jobs creator!'

"Here is your very own doll, so you can see how tiring it is to raise a child."

"I take my babysitting job very seriously."

"Your nanny is paid to be patient with you."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: Mother examines baby's faeces

Different Perspectives on Childcare

"Hot chocolate, straight. ...make it a double."

'Home from work at last!!'

'When you said I mustn't speak to strange people, does that include you and Dad?'

'It's your mother -- are you here?'

"We're playing Redistribution of Wealth."

"Thanks again. You've got a great house and a fun care provider."