Insomniac Humor Gifts

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

'Next time try decaf.'

'Most people count sheep. He counts peanuts.'

'How's your insomnia?' - 'Terrible, I can't even sleep when it's time to get up.'

"You're just paranoid, Myrtle. Get some sleep."

"I can't sleep. I think that I'll trot out and get myself darted."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"Try thinking about something else."

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

Things that go beep in the night.

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

Wide-awake.

Overnight Programming

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

"Damn! I STILL can't sleep!"

Gracie can't sleep by counting sheep so she sleeps by counting A+ grades.

"This book put me to sleep—It was wonderful."

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

"See how much better you look after a good nights sleep."

'Oh man, really shouldn't have had that coffee in June,'

'Give me one of your lectures, Dad - I can't sleep!'

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

"He's chasing his dreams."

"Don't be alarmed, I couldn't sleep: I'm just here to count you. . ."

Counting sheep hurdling.

"You've been daylighting, haven't you ?"

"Must you page swipe so loudly?"

Wide eyed owl drinking coffee.

"After tonight you're going to need a prescription."