Insomniac Joke Enthusiast Gifts

'Counting sheep won't put you to sleep. Why don't you imagine you're at the office.'

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'If I believed in aptitude tests I'd still be washing cars in Accrington,.'

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

Crime in bookshop

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

Men Working Things Out

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'Remember, repeated failure... is no guarantee of eventual success!'

"Wow! Check out the moon."

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"You're a bureaucrat, Ed. What do you mean you hate paperwork?"

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"Oh c'mon, Phil. Everyone knows we only stay together for the giant tortoise."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

'Money can't buy happiness, Sims, so instead of a raise, I'm giving you a bottle of prozac.'

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

Universidad

Jimmy Mussolini With "Leon""Precious I cannot be. One more allusion to Gilgamesh and I'll trash out. I make mistakes, just like you, every day. This may be one of them. I'll take the money and walk."

'Young lady, stop talking to your dad in such a disrespectful way! After all he's a man with degrees and can fill in his unemployment benefit application in five different languages!'

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"Dear Author: Thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to reject your work."

'Ever since we converted the church into a jail, everyone is finding Jesus.'

Wide-awake.

Expensive health care

A panhandler with a sign that reads "From each according to his ability…. To each according to his need."

"Well, instead of discussing the book we could discuss why none of us had time to read it."

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

"Out of my way! I'm late for that lecture on 'The Importance of Relaxation'!!!"

'It appears that he was given payback by his trophies.'

Dr Rimbone suffered terribly from 'Dentist's Block'.

Overnight Programming