Comical Insomniac Gifts

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

Wide-awake.

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

Overnight Programming

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

"This book put me to sleep—It was wonderful."

'Peel is sleeping badly.' - 'He seems very bright.' - 'Yes.' - 'Bright babies often sleep badly.' - 'Waaaaah!' - 'I want a thick baby.' - 'Zzzzzzz'

"See how much better you look after a good nights sleep."

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

'Oh man, really shouldn't have had that coffee in June,'

'Give me one of your lectures, Dad - I can't sleep!'

"Don't be alarmed, I couldn't sleep: I'm just here to count you. . ."

"He's chasing his dreams."

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

"You've been daylighting, haven't you ?"

Counting sheep hurdling.

"Must you page swipe so loudly?"

Wide eyed owl drinking coffee.

"After tonight you're going to need a prescription."

'The new baby? Oh he's great! I haven't slept in 4 days, but the baby is great!'

"If you really wanted to, you could beat this insomnia with your eyes closed."

'It's great that you can laugh at yourself, but can you not do it in the middle of the night?'

'One will help you sleep like a log. The other one's to keep the termites away.'

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd embroider my memoirs a bit.

Daily Promise...

"Just go already!" "One could scarcely desire more delightful conditions for a nocturnal ramble..."

'Next time try decaf.'