Insomniac With Humor Gifts

"He's chasing his dreams."

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

Things that go beep in the night.

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"Before I prescribe a sleeping pill, I'd like you to try the opera."

Wide-awake.

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

Overnight Programming

"When I can't sleep I don't count sheep I count my blessings."

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

"This book put me to sleep—It was wonderful."

Gracie can't sleep by counting sheep so she sleeps by counting A+ grades.

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

"See how much better you look after a good nights sleep."

'Oh man, really shouldn't have had that coffee in June,'

'Give me one of your lectures, Dad - I can't sleep!'

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

"Don't be alarmed, I couldn't sleep: I'm just here to count you. . ."

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

"You've been daylighting, haven't you ?"

Counting sheep hurdling.

Wide eyed owl drinking coffee.

"Must you page swipe so loudly?"

'It's great that you can laugh at yourself, but can you not do it in the middle of the night?'

"After tonight you're going to need a prescription."

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd embroider my memoirs a bit.

'The new baby? Oh he's great! I haven't slept in 4 days, but the baby is great!'

'One will help you sleep like a log. The other one's to keep the termites away.'

Daily Promise...