Insomniac Humorist Gifts

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

Counting Sheep Gone Wrong

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

Wide-awake.

Non-drug therapy for insomnia apply as needed.

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

'Order a different screen saver to Jenks!'

"C'mon, Baldo! Time to get up! I know...you have trouble getting your days started."

"Your book is selling well in drug stores, right next to the sleeping pills."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

Things that go beep in the night.

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

Overnight Programming

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

"This book put me to sleep—It was wonderful."

"Damn! I STILL can't sleep!"

Gracie can't sleep by counting sheep so she sleeps by counting A+ grades.

"See how much better you look after a good nights sleep."

'Oh man, really shouldn't have had that coffee in June,'

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

'Give me one of your lectures, Dad - I can't sleep!'

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

"He's chasing his dreams."

"Don't be alarmed, I couldn't sleep: I'm just here to count you. . ."

"You've been daylighting, haven't you ?"

Counting sheep hurdling.

"Must you page swipe so loudly?"

Wide eyed owl drinking coffee.

Daily Promise...