Insomniac Comedians Gifts

'It's great that you can laugh at yourself, but can you not do it in the middle of the night?'

Sleeping Bags Insomnia Bags.

"Try thinking about something else."

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

Wide-awake.

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

Overnight Programming

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

"Damn! I STILL can't sleep!"

"See how much better you look after a good nights sleep."

"This book put me to sleep—It was wonderful."

Gracie can't sleep by counting sheep so she sleeps by counting A+ grades.

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

'Oh man, really shouldn't have had that coffee in June,'

'Give me one of your lectures, Dad - I can't sleep!'

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

"Don't be alarmed, I couldn't sleep: I'm just here to count you. . ."

'Never, Ever...try to figure out the meaning of life in the middle of the night.'

"He's chasing his dreams."

Counting sheep hurdling.

"You've been daylighting, haven't you ?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Must you page swipe so loudly?"

Wide eyed owl drinking coffee.

"After tonight you're going to need a prescription."

Daily Promise...

'One will help you sleep like a log. The other one's to keep the termites away.'