Insomnia Humorists Gifts

Wide eyed owl drinking coffee.

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

Wide-awake.

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

'Wake up! You're kissing the sheet again...'

Safe harbour

Overnight Programming

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

"What time should we wake him for breakfast?"

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

'Oh man, really shouldn't have had that coffee in June,'

'Give me one of your lectures, Dad - I can't sleep!'

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

Pre-minstrel Tension.

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

"Don't be alarmed, I couldn't sleep: I'm just here to count you. . ."

"He's chasing his dreams."

Counting sheep hurdling.

Things my cat says at 3 am

Your fingers' worst nightmares

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

'It's great that you can laugh at yourself, but can you not do it in the middle of the night?'

"Just go already!" "One could scarcely desire more delightful conditions for a nocturnal ramble..."

"If you really wanted to, you could beat this insomnia with your eyes closed."

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd embroider my memoirs a bit.

"After tonight you're going to need a prescription."

"Crawford's hard at work, I see!"

'Next time try decaf.'

"A child is like coffee. It's easy to make, but then won't let you sleep."

'How's your insomnia?' - 'Terrible, I can't even sleep when it's time to get up.'

Non-drug therapy for insomnia apply as needed.