Insomnia Humorists Gifts

Wide eyed owl drinking coffee.

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

Wide-awake.

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

Overnight Programming

Safe harbour

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

"What time should we wake him for breakfast?"

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

'Oh man, really shouldn't have had that coffee in June,'

'Give me one of your lectures, Dad - I can't sleep!'

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

Pre-minstrel Tension.

"He's chasing his dreams."

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

"Don't be alarmed, I couldn't sleep: I'm just here to count you. . ."

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

'It's great that you can laugh at yourself, but can you not do it in the middle of the night?'

Your fingers' worst nightmares

Things my cat says at 3 am

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd embroider my memoirs a bit.

"Just go already!" "One could scarcely desire more delightful conditions for a nocturnal ramble..."

"If you really wanted to, you could beat this insomnia with your eyes closed."

"Crawford's hard at work, I see!"

"After tonight you're going to need a prescription."

'Next time try decaf.'

'How's your insomnia?' - 'Terrible, I can't even sleep when it's time to get up.'

"A child is like coffee. It's easy to make, but then won't let you sleep."

'I told you not to drink coffee before hibernating!'

Non-drug therapy for insomnia apply as needed.