Sleep Deprivation Humorist Gifts

"Just go already!" "One could scarcely desire more delightful conditions for a nocturnal ramble..."

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

The downside of the cupcake bed.

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

Overnight Programming

'It's your turn, dear.'

'Peel is sleeping badly.' - 'He seems very bright.' - 'Yes.' - 'Bright babies often sleep badly.' - 'Waaaaah!' - 'I want a thick baby.' - 'Zzzzzzz'

'It's these sleeper terrorists, doctor. They're keeping me awake at night.'

"What time should we wake him for breakfast?"

“Is the light bothering you, dear?”

'Give me one of your lectures, Dad - I can't sleep!'

"Don't be alarmed, I couldn't sleep: I'm just here to count you. . ."

"Oh Oh . . . Looks like our five o'clock wake up call is here!"

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

"How's the insomnia?"

Wide eyed owl drinking coffee.

'I've got to do something about my insomnia. I didn't sleep a wink at work today.'

"Crawford's hard at work, I see!"

'Mom, did you know that if you turn the clock upside down, '4:45' spells 'Shh?''

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

Things my cat says at 3 am

Your fingers' worst nightmares

"After tonight you're going to need a prescription."

"I had a bad dream that you were getting rest."

"A child is like coffee. It's easy to make, but then won't let you sleep."

"Your snoring is really getting out of control."

"I can't remember how to fall asleep. What do you have for insomnesia?"

'I told you not to drink coffee before hibernating!'

'I'll call you back. I'm sleepwalking.'

"That was one loud thunderstorm last night."