Funny Insomniac Gifts

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

Wide-awake.

"Before I prescribe a sleeping pill, I'd like you to try the opera."

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

Overnight Programming

"When I can't sleep I don't count sheep I count my blessings."

"See how much better you look after a good nights sleep."

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

"This book put me to sleep—It was wonderful."

'Oh man, really shouldn't have had that coffee in June,'

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

'Give me one of your lectures, Dad - I can't sleep!'

"He's chasing his dreams."

"Don't be alarmed, I couldn't sleep: I'm just here to count you. . ."

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

"You've been daylighting, haven't you ?"

Counting sheep hurdling.

"Must you page swipe so loudly?"

Wide eyed owl drinking coffee.

'The new baby? Oh he's great! I haven't slept in 4 days, but the baby is great!'

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd embroider my memoirs a bit.

"If you really wanted to, you could beat this insomnia with your eyes closed."

'One will help you sleep like a log. The other one's to keep the termites away.'

"After tonight you're going to need a prescription."

Daily Promise...

'It's great that you can laugh at yourself, but can you not do it in the middle of the night?'