Funny Insomniac Gifts

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

Wide-awake.

"Before I prescribe a sleeping pill, I'd like you to try the opera."

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

"When I can't sleep I don't count sheep I count my blessings."

Overnight Programming

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

"See how much better you look after a good nights sleep."

"This book put me to sleep—It was wonderful."

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

'Oh man, really shouldn't have had that coffee in June,'

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

'Give me one of your lectures, Dad - I can't sleep!'

"Don't be alarmed, I couldn't sleep: I'm just here to count you. . ."

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

"He's chasing his dreams."

"You've been daylighting, haven't you ?"

"Must you page swipe so loudly?"

Wide eyed owl drinking coffee.

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd embroider my memoirs a bit.

"If you really wanted to, you could beat this insomnia with your eyes closed."

'The new baby? Oh he's great! I haven't slept in 4 days, but the baby is great!'

'One will help you sleep like a log. The other one's to keep the termites away.'

Daily Promise...

"After tonight you're going to need a prescription."

'It's great that you can laugh at yourself, but can you not do it in the middle of the night?'

'Next time try decaf.'