Insomniac Gifts

'The bad news is you're to be executed at dawn. The good news is your executioner is not a morning person.'

"Must you page swipe so loudly?"

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"This book put me to sleep—It was wonderful."

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

'She sleeps the whole time! ... Very amusing!'

'One will help you sleep like a log. The other one's to keep the termites away.'

"Is the light bothering you dear?"

Twisted Peel listens to whale music: 'No! No! Don't eat me!'

Daily Promise...

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

"Call him Koffee- he keeps us awake!"

The Forever Stamp

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

Wide-awake.

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

Cats. All they do is eat and sleep. Truth is, they don't even do that well.

"They were known as the tribe that didn't sleep."

"When I can't sleep I don't count sheep I count my blessings."

"Sleep? No, I'm the anxiety fairy. How about a cuppa joe?"

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

'We're making progress on my insomnia. My foot went to sleep last night.'

Insomniacs Anonymous - No Snoring

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

Wheel of Sleep Misfortune

'Insomniacs Anonymous. Next meeting 3am,Tues.'