Insomniac Humor Pillows

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

'Next time try decaf.'

'Most people count sheep. He counts peanuts.'

'How's your insomnia?' - 'Terrible, I can't even sleep when it's time to get up.'

"You're just paranoid, Myrtle. Get some sleep."

"I can't sleep. I think that I'll trot out and get myself darted."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"Try thinking about something else."

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

Wide-awake.

Overnight Programming

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

"See how much better you look after a good nights sleep."

Gracie can't sleep by counting sheep so she sleeps by counting A+ grades.

"This book put me to sleep—It was wonderful."

"Damn! I STILL can't sleep!"

'Oh man, really shouldn't have had that coffee in June,'

'Give me one of your lectures, Dad - I can't sleep!'

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

"He's chasing his dreams."

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

"Don't be alarmed, I couldn't sleep: I'm just here to count you. . ."

"You've been daylighting, haven't you ?"

Wide eyed owl drinking coffee.

"Must you page swipe so loudly?"

"After tonight you're going to need a prescription."

'It's great that you can laugh at yourself, but can you not do it in the middle of the night?'

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd embroider my memoirs a bit.