Insomnia Humorist Pillows

'Give me one of your lectures, Dad - I can't sleep!'

Circadian Rhythm lab.

Overnight Programming

"After tonight you're going to need a prescription."

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

Rip Van Winkle shouldn't have switched to that new gourmet ultra-decaffeinated coffee.

"That was one loud thunderstorm last night."

"Don't be alarmed, I couldn't sleep: I'm just here to count you. . ."

"Am I half-asleep or half-dead?"

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

Wide-awake.

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

"Since I heard there was a monster I can't sleep at night!"

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

"What time should we wake him for breakfast?"

Why hamsters don't sleep at night.

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

'Oh man, really shouldn't have had that coffee in June,'

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

"If anything happens, Janice, I love you."

"He's chasing his dreams."

Wide eyed owl drinking coffee.

Your fingers' worst nightmares

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

'It's great that you can laugh at yourself, but can you not do it in the middle of the night?'

"If you really wanted to, you could beat this insomnia with your eyes closed."

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd embroider my memoirs a bit.

"Just go already!" "One could scarcely desire more delightful conditions for a nocturnal ramble..."

"Crawford's hard at work, I see!"