Insomniac With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"Before I prescribe a sleeping pill, I'd like you to try the opera."

Wide-awake.

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

Overnight Programming

"When I can't sleep I don't count sheep I count my blessings."

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

Gracie can't sleep by counting sheep so she sleeps by counting A+ grades.

"This book put me to sleep—It was wonderful."

"See how much better you look after a good nights sleep."

'Oh man, really shouldn't have had that coffee in June,'

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

'Give me one of your lectures, Dad - I can't sleep!'

"Don't be alarmed, I couldn't sleep: I'm just here to count you. . ."

"He's chasing his dreams."

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

"You've been daylighting, haven't you ?"

Wide eyed owl drinking coffee.

"Must you page swipe so loudly?"

Daily Promise...

'The new baby? Oh he's great! I haven't slept in 4 days, but the baby is great!'

Your fingers' worst nightmares

'One will help you sleep like a log. The other one's to keep the termites away.'

"If you really wanted to, you could beat this insomnia with your eyes closed."

"After tonight you're going to need a prescription."

'It's great that you can laugh at yourself, but can you not do it in the middle of the night?'

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd embroider my memoirs a bit.

'Next time try decaf.'