Hygiene Jokester Gifts

"Peweeew! Drop your arms, please. Your arm pits are foul."

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Hey. We're out of toilet paper."

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

Team medic spraying deodorant

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

'If you're into preparing healthy meals then I recommend the apricot brandy. It contains the antioxidant beta carotene.'

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

Fresh Corn and Dental Floss farmstands.

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

Customers must wash hands after using their laptops.

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Ward Cleaning.

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

"I like making pastry... It gets your hands clean."

Remember to wash your hands: "...but not compulsively."

Bath tube with human feet.

'What did you find in your soup?'

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

'...time you had your ears syringed?'

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

Jeff woke up with a disgusting film on his teeth.

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

'MERCY!!'

'This is one thing you can't blame on me.'

Outside, my mom makes we wear all this if there's a drop of rain. Inside, she's always bugging me to take a bath!