Personal Hygiene Humorist Gifts

'Your hospital bill is $8437.00, plus $350.00 for not wearing clean underwear when you were brought in.'

'You want to borrow a tampon?!'

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

Chef copy robot

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

Team medic spraying deodorant

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

"Ooh, you’ve got a little piece of retiree caught in your teeth."

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

Customers must wash hands after using their laptops.

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Ward Cleaning.

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

Employees must wash hands of all responsibility.

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

'What did you find in your soup?'

"I like making pastry... It gets your hands clean."

Bath tube with human feet.

Now sanitize the lamp and yell your wishes.

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

Remember to wash your hands: "...but not compulsively."

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

Jeff woke up with a disgusting film on his teeth.

Graduate.

"Gesundheit!"

'This is one thing you can't blame on me.'