Hygiene Humor Gifts

"Hold on – you don't know whose paws have touched that butter board."

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Chef copy robot

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

Team medic spraying deodorant

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

"Ooh, you’ve got a little piece of retiree caught in your teeth."

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Customers must wash hands after using their laptops.

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

'Excuse me - there's a fly in my soup!'

Ward Cleaning.

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

Employees must wash hands of all responsibility.

Bath tube with human feet.

"I like making pastry... It gets your hands clean."

'What did you find in your soup?'

Now sanitize the lamp and yell your wishes.

Remember to wash your hands: "...but not compulsively."

Happy Hour legal loopholes!

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

Jeff woke up with a disgusting film on his teeth.

"But I can't help it if I smell 'Fishy'!"

"Gesundheit!"

'Ey-up, here comes the boss!'