Hygiene Humorists Gifts

Raccoons, the obsessive compulsive hand washers of nature.

"Well, I don't want to touch it."

Now wash your gogs

Extra Strong Dirt Remover.

Man with body odour problems using all sorts of fragrances.

Natural hand soap

"But I can't help it if I smell 'Fishy'!"

If you need instructions on how to wash your hands...

"Once I stopped washing, social-distancing pretty much took care of itself."

"Not to worry you kid, but if you've got clean underwear, you should put them on before you get into the ring."

"Why on earth do you brush your teeth? A fishy-breath is so much nicer than a minty-breath..."

"The next table is upset; they ordered Chateau Lafite and all they can smell is Chateau Your Feet."

'Dinner's almost ready — go wash your knuckles.'

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

Attention: 'Rebels with dirty, ragged underwear will be billed double - FD Yomp, MD,'

Acme Cotton Bud

"I love not needing to floss and I hate being forced to smell my own breath."

"Not until you get rid of that 'death' smell."

Adventures in Flossing

"Before attempting the glass slipper would you mind putting on this latex sock?"

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

Chef copy robot

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

Team medic spraying deodorant

"Ooh, you’ve got a little piece of retiree caught in your teeth."

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

Customers must wash hands after using their laptops.